Tuesday Afternoon Inside Linebacker

Posted on September 17, 2013 by AD

tail ALDLAND’s weekly football roundup is back following week three of college football and week two of the NFL.

College Football

Pregame:

I caught snippets of ESPN College Gameday and Fox Sports 1’s college football pregame shows. Gameday remains the leader of the pack, but I’d like more time to see how FS1’s show develops. In the meantime, I’ll join FS1’s Joel Klatt in sending good wishes to the folks in Colorado dealing with major flooding right now.

There’s still time to vote in ALDLAND’s week two college football poll. The week three poll will open soon.

The games — excitement building:

With a couple East Carolina fans in town, we watched the Pirates hang with Virginia Tech for about three quarters. The Hokies did all they could, including badly missing a bunch of close kicks, to hand ECU the game. Frank Beamer looked like he wanted to puke, but his team managed to hold it together in the end. Virginia Tech 15, East Carolina 10.

We were flipping between that game and UCLA-Nebraska. When I first checked in on this one, Nebraska had a 21-3 lead, and it looked like the best early game of the day would not materialize into a competitive affair. That turned out to be sort of true, but not in the way I expected. UCLA scored thirty-eight unanswered points to beat the now-mythological blackshirt defense in Lincoln 41-21.

The game of the day belonged to Alabama and Texas A&M, and it lived up to the hype. Johnny Manziel and the Aggies started very hot, jumping out to a 14-0 lead and choking the Tide’s early drives. A&M scored touchdowns on its first two drives, which averaged 71.5 yards and 2:06 off the clock. Alabama responded, though, methodically amassing thirty-five temporarily unanswered points and carried a 42-21 lead into the fourth quarter. The Aggie defense had yielded to The System, but Manziel wasn’t through, although twenty-one fourth-quarter points wouldn’t be enough to top Alabama. The Crimson Tide remain undefeated, winning 49-42, but Manziel unequivocally proved that he is must-see football every time he plays, and his cohort, receiver Mike Evans, deserves some credit too. Continue reading →

The NFL’s disorderly priorities in one image

Posted on September 16, 2013 by AD

We already know that the NFL has some twisted priorities, but this image from last night’s 49ers-Seahawks game offers a convenient visual perspective:

There was a penalty called on this play, thankfully. Can you find it? If you guessed that it has something to do with the concussed guy face-down on the turf, you would be wrong. Seattle receiver Sidney Rice was flagged for celebrating his catch by spinning the ball on the ground. The penalty made it as though the play never happened, which is probably what San Francisco defender Eric Reid thinks.

If league policy continues to develop along its current trajectory, there soon may be very little to celebrate about this game.

Bay of Cigs: Heeeeeere’s Jhonny?

Posted on September 12, 2013 by AD

Last month, Jhonny Peralta, the starting shortstop for the Detroit Tigers, agreed to accept a fifty-game suspension because of his connection to the Biogenesis Clinic. That suspension is nearly over, and he could return to the team on September 27, which is the date of the first game of the Tigers’ final regular season series, coincidentally taking place in Miami.

The decision whether to bring Peralta back to the team belongs to the team, and general manager Dave Dombrowski in particular. The question is whether they should allow him back. Continue reading →

Super Bowl XLVII Recap: Where do you go when the lights go out?

Posted on February 5, 2013 by AD

Everyone saw the game and it was a few days ago, so here are just a few points to put a wrap on this sports year*:

To answer Trey’s question, above, you make like John Harbaugh and go cuss out some guy.
As for the other Harbaugh involved in Sunday’s game, he was too busy serving up a wardrobe malfunction:

On that (historical) topic, I’ve been critical of Beyoncé in the recent past, but I thought her performance at halftime was just right for this setting. A no-holds-barred pop experience by one of the top musical celebrities of the day is what the Super Bowl halftime show should be.
(On that note, I finally saw the infamous Janet Jackson performance for the first time this week, and there is no possible way that wasn’t an intentional move by Justin Timberlake. How did he get away with that?!)
As for the no-call on the fourth-and-goal pass to Michael Crabtree:

Based on where the ball landed, I think the pass was uncatchable, so the no-call is correct.
For what it’s worth, Mike Pereira agrees with me, though for a different reason.
There’s something sort of ironic about the 49ers complaining about a lack of a pass-interference call on the last play of a playoff game, or at least Falcons fans think so.
If you really want to Zapruder the thing, click here and have your heart contented.

Also for Crabtree, he intercepted Colin Kaepernick’s first-half touchdown pass to a wide-open Randy Moss, so he probably should include that play in his analysis of the game.
Penalties, early and late in the game, really are what doomed San Francisco.
I think it’s fair to ask whether we should’ve seen Alex Smith in the game at some point.
Who told you about Frank Gore?
Who told you before kickoff the Ravens would win?

Thanks for tuning into our Super Bowl coverage. Onward.

*It really feels like the “sports year” ought to run from Super Bowl to Super Bowl, so we’re going to treat it that way around here. I’m not really sure what we’ll touch on between now and the Daytona 500, but there are a few items in the pipeline, so don’t worry. The slowest sports day of the year doesn’t come until July anyway.

Final Super Bowl XLVII Notes: The Baltimore Ravens will win

Posted on February 3, 2013 by AD

How do I know the Ravens will win? Read on…

Len Dawson, Kansas City Chiefs quarterback, after losing Super Bowl I

First, the important details: Kickoff is at 6:30 pm, according to the NFL. CBS has the television and online broadcast rights, and Dial Global will have the radio broadcast. In reality, I have no idea if 6:30 represents kickoff, or just “kickoff,” and the real thing won’t happen until 7:00. I guess we’ll all find out together.

Second, before you read further, remember that if enough of you sign this petition, you don’t have to go to work tomorrow.

Third, I think our Super Bowl preview coverage over the last two weeks has been pretty good. Some highlights while you wait for “kickoff”:

A losers’ guide to Super Bowl cheering – It’s not too late to choose your rooting interest tonight, or to look at a GIF of a 49ers fan with a banjo.
Beyond the Archives: How Big Government Cost Southern Conservatives a Super Bowl Win – Pretty self-explanatory.
ALDLAND Podcast – Super Bowl edition.
The Truth: What really happened in the murder trial of Ray Lewis, Reginald Oakley, and Joseph Sweeting – The real story. Best I’ve ever read on the pre-deer-antler-velvet extract Ray Lewis.

Fourth, assuming you’ve covered that ground already, the best of the rest of the web:

When the final score doesn’t matter: How prop bets changed the way we gamble on the Super Bowl – You’ve done well to hang in this far into the post, degenerates. The prop bets themselves aren’t shocking or even chuckle-inducing anymore, but this history of how they came to be is an interesting read. (Hint: the house wins.)
The Best Super Bowl Documentary You’ve Never Seen – Ok, I get it. You’re ready to stop reading and watch TV. Instead of another hour of CBS’s refried game preview, this documentary is what you need. In 1976, the Bicentennial, a group of kids– including Bill Murray, Christopher Guest (aka Nigel Tufnel), and Harold Ramis (aka The Comic Genius Who Defined A Generation) took some of the first portable video cameras and had unprecedented (then or now) access to the players, fans, and everything else surrounding Super Bowl X. Lynn Swann, Johnny Unitas, and Bob Irsay all are there, among many others. It’s available at that link in four brief Youtube videos, and it’s one of the best sports things I’ve seen in recent memory.
Beyond Legend: Stories paint picture of real Randy Moss – A couple gems in here. Bill Murray-esque in some respects. (HT: Laura)

Fifth, as promised, your guaranteed winner tonight is the Baltimore Ravens. I admitted I’ll be cheering for San Francisco, but I have it on the best authority that the streets of Baltimore will be the ones to host a Super Bowl victory parade this year. You can read the full explanation here, but the short story is this logical truth: Norm Macdonald has a lifelong sports gambling problem; when he bets, he rarely wins; when he isn’t gambling, however, he can’t miss; he is gambling on these NFL playoffs, including the Super Bowl; a friend uncovered Norm’s early season, pre-return-to-gambling pick; by its untainted nature, that pick will be correct; that pick was Baltimore to win the Super Bowl. Unassailable. If you take it to the bank, be sure to break off part of your winnings for Norm (and me).

Enjoy the Super Bowl, everybody! Thanks for spending some of your pregame time with ALDLAND. Follow us @ALDLANDia for withering insight during the game.

ALDLAND Podcast

Posted on February 1, 2013 by bpbrady

With all of you ALDLANDers out there getting excited for the Super Bowl, we had to put out a robust podcast covering that game, and also the biggest game of the weekend, Michigan at Indiana. Join yours truly and Marcus as we cover everything from x’s and o’s to how dumb Chris Culliver is. Come for the Super Bowl, stay for discussion of James Franklin being a weirdo.

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Download the ALDLAND podcast at our Podcasts Page or stream it right here:

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ALDLAND Archives: Why I Hate Harbaugh

Posted on January 23, 2013 by bpbrady

To begin our Super Bowl coverage, we’ve gone to what little exists of the ALDLAND Vault for a classic Bpbrady rant that has aged well. -Ed.

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Why I Hate Harbaugh

October 27, 2011

Recently AD asked me with regard to Jim Harbaugh how it was that one “Michigan Man” could so heartily reject another “Michigan Man.” Full disclosure: my hatred for various sports stars has not always been rational. I once hated Cale Hulse with a passion because his last name was too similar to Brett Hull’s. More recently I have hated Sidney Crosby for perfectly good reasons, namely his role in the Penguins’ cheating to win the 2009 Stanley Cup Finals. I like to think that my hatred of Harbaugh is similarly justified. …Read the rest…

NFC Champtionship notes

Posted on January 20, 2013 by AD

The San Francisco 49ers meet the Atlanta Falcons this afternoon in the Georgia Dome to play for the opportunity to go to the Super Bowl in New Orleans. Hidden between the media’s heavy stereotyping of this matchup are a few nice preview pieces that actually track pretty well those for last week‘s game, as well as my prediction for this afternoon’s outcome: Keep reading…

Stereotyping the NFC Championship Game

Posted on January 19, 2013 by AD

The San Francisco 49ers are back in the NFC Championship Game again this year, where they’ll be facing the Atlanta Falcons instead of the New York Giants, and they’ll be doing it with young go-hard Colin Kaepernick instead of old can’t-catch-a-break Alex Smith at quarterback. How is the media treating this meeting between Bay Area bohemians and members of Black Hollywood‘s elite crew?

By rushing to stereotypes, of course.

We go first to Atlanta, where you just know those FalCONS are up to no good. How did they get that way? Atlanta “like[s] players with high ‘FBI’ scores.” Because they’re criminals, you see. At least that’s what that Atlanta Journal-Constitution headline writer would make you click a link to a game-week puff piece on “football intelligence,” which no reasonable person abbreviates as “FBI.”

Let’s head out to Cali, shall we? See what’s pulled those hemp-farmers away from their crystal collections and communal energy vortex long enough to turn them into probably the best team in the NFL this season? What’s their secret? Yoga, of course! And a copy of the Dhammapada– or at least an old yearbook clipping– in every locker.

If playing to the lowest common social denominator isn’t lazy enough for you, how about a tried-and-true sports cliche? We again turn to the Falcons’ hometown paper, where we now find the Durrty Burds’ fans-of-letters grasping at straws, or other print publications, as it were. Knowing that the top seed is outmatched at home on Sunday, they’re putting their eggs in the SI Cover Curse basket, and at this point, why not? Unless it can make Kaepernick and Frank Gore disappear the way it did to the alleged girlfriend of Manti Te’o, though, I think the Falcons are going to be in a bad tangle Sunday.

Super Bowl XLVII, brought to you by the AARP?

Posted on January 16, 2013 by AD

The NFL playoffs is down to its final four teams, and by Sunday night, we’ll know whether Baltimore or New England will be facing Atlanta or San Francisco in the Super Bowl in New Orleans.

These playoffs have been a Rusty’s Last Call ride for Ray Lewis, whose Ravens somewhat improbably have advanced to the AFC championship game. While their opponent, the Patriots, is a perennial postseason favorite, the Ravens (and not, any longer, the Seahawks) are the hot team of this postseason, and it’s becoming difficult to bet against them– ESPN certainly isn’t. Lewis’ last dance may come Saturday. If not, it will come on Super Bowl Sunday.

If it does, Lewis will share the setting sun’s spotlight with one other notable retiree. If the NFC championship game goes according to the seeding, it will be longtime Chief and current Falcon Tony Gonzalez. The tight end, probably best known for popularizing the crossbar dunk TD celebration, says he’s 95% certain he’ll retire after this season, and while his final act has received markedly less than the gyrating, bionic-armed one of Lewis, the attention he has received has taken care to note just how impressive of a career he’s had.

If the NFC championship game follows the hot hand, as it sure seems like it may, Lewis’ possibly outgoing opponent will one whose superstardom has long since burned low. Randy Moss’ days as the league’s most dominant wide receiver are long gone. His days as an albatross– i.e., his days in Oakland and Nashville– seem to be in the past as well. He’s retired once, and he’s rapidly approaching the end of his one-year contract with San Francisco. There hasn’t been any retirement discussion from Moss (this ambiguous retweet aside), or really much discussion of him in the media at all. Moss’ numbers are way down from his peak-production years, though they’re up over his recent disaster years. It’s tough to know whether the 49ers or Moss will want to sign a new contract for next year– he started only two games this year, the fewest of any season in his career– or if this is it. The only sure bet looks to be that, if this Sunday or Super Bowl Sunday really is Moss’ last game, he’ll treat it a little differently than Lewis will handle his.

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