Cougar dating tips from Mike Leach

leachForget what you read at Kim’s Hallmark. We all know that fall makes a great time to jump into the dating scene. But what if you’re a guy in need of a little help with planning a first date? If you’re a Washington State student looking to hit the ground running in Pullman, you’re in luck.

We already know that WSU head coach Mike Leach likes the cougars, but this is a generous helping of advice even by his standards. At Monday’s press conference, Leach opined on first-date strategy in Pullman:

Try to have somewhere where there’s not salad, because girls will try to show off and act like all they eat is salad, so try to put them somewhere where they’re in a position where they have to put real food in their mouth. They want to do that thing where they only pick at salads and stuff like that, so once you get past that, because that’s sort of a speed bump in the whole thing, you want to get past that immediately. I would go to Black Cypress if you really want to make a good impression. If you want just good, solid food and aren’t as into the atmosphere, I’d go to Mongolian Fire, which I really like. So one of those two. But if you go to the more  high-end Black Cypress I’d talk to Nick beforehand because he has the menu and it’s all really good and I’d just instruct him that the point of this is to make her eat. Because  if you can make her eat she’ll talk. Other than that it’s all this pretention and stuff like that. The key thing is make her eat, then she’ll relax, then there’ll be some dialogue and you can get to know her and see if you’re interested in dating her beyond dinner. He’s got some great appetizers and he’ll come by and keep hitting you up – here’s this, try that – and I think it should work out really well.

What did Leach do on his first date with his wife?

Went to A&W, had just finished a rugby game, went to A&W, had a coupon book, she said ‘what are you getting?’ She’s looking at the menu, ‘what looks good? what are you getting?’ I handed her the 2-for-1 coupon book, I said ‘I don’t know, but here’s the menu.’ Seems to me we got some kind of bacon hamburger thing. She got a rootbeer freeze. I do remember that.

Would he recommend the coupon book approach to others for a first date?

It worked for me. You’ll cut the weak out of the lineup right away if you do it that way. You’ll only be involved with committed people if they’re going to do the coupon book. It doesn’t hurt. If you’re just trying to dress your life up a little and pretend you have a relationship, then maybe you don’t want to use the coupon book if it’s some kind of a volume deal. But if you want to zero in on one or two, break out the coupon book, saw off the weak right off the top so you can get down the path to find the right one. It’s worked out pretty good, because I’ve been married … I can’t remember, a long time. 30 years or something.

Tough to argue with that.

(HT: Laura)

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Related
Mike Leach Favors Cougars

Mike Leach Favors Cougars

I was a Mike Leach fan long before Craig James took the helm of the mothership and got Leach fired from the head coaching job at Texas Tech. I think I first learned about Leach through an interview on Jim Rome’s radio show and was hooked by his deadpan demeanor and the facts that he has a law degree from Pepperdine and kept an automatronic pirate-skelleton in his office. I’m not even a pirate guy, but the random, dry sense of humor, and the nonchalance with which he carried on his job as a successful college football coach of one of the highest-flying offenses in the nation all combined to hit me just right.

When Leach finally landed his next coaching job, Washington State plainly had gotten a real steal, and though his tone of voice would never betray it, it appears that Leach has embraced his new home as well. From an interview posted yesterday on SB Nation’s WSU site:

Jim Moore: In a battle to the death among Pac-12 mascots, which animal or person wins?

Mike Leach: The Cougar absolutely. Let’s go through this a little bit. A cougar obviously kills a duck and a beaver. A cougar against a husky … that’s pretty well a massacre. A cardinal or whatever: I don’t know exactly what a cougar would either climb it or I wouldn’t want to think of what else he’d do on it. Now Golden Bears could be kinda tough. I think you’d want to be a little fast and loose with them. You don’t want to get caught by that bear. The Ute … you gotta dodge some arrowheads, but I still like the Cougar. Buffalo … I think the buffalo would be pretty tough to beat. Wildcat: Cougars are bigger than wildcats. Sun Devils, that’s mythical anyway. Trojans, they may be as well. I think you gotta look out for the Bruins and the Buffalo. The Golden Bear, Bruin and Buffalo .. I think those are the tough ones.

Moore: Why the Buffalo?

Leach: Do you want to fight a buffalo? I don’t know, those buffalo are big. You know, buffalo are significantly bigger than elk. I grew up near Yellowstone so I’ve been near buffalo. Buffalo are huge. And then the other thing I’ve always gotten a kick out of: When you play Colorado, there’s those buffalo dragging those six handlers around. Those handlers aren’t dragging the buffalo. The buffalo’s dragging him.

Ralphie’s not even a big buffalo. Ralphie pulls those people wherever he wants to.

More on the interview, including audio, is available here.

At the very least, Leach gives WAZZU fans a reason to believe they can climb out of the Pacific Twelve basement and the rest of us a reason to watch that miserable conference.