Some of you might not know who Mario Balotelli is and what he is about.  Heck, it’s likely that most of you don’t know him.  Rest assured, however, that your children, and your children’s children will know his name.  There will undoubtedly be philosophy classes in future years focused solely on the wisdom imparted on us by Mario Balotelli.  In a mere 21 years on this planet Mario Balotelli has done and said enough to fill volumes upon volumes of books.  Balotelli’s achievements have not been confined to the soccer pitch, although he has had success there with European giants Internazionale and Manchester City.  Here is just a sampling of what makes him not just the greatest athlete of all time, but the greatest mind of all time:

• Balotelli became the face of a fireworks safety campaign in Britain after one of his friends set off fireworks in the bathroom of Balotelli’s mansion during a party, thereby setting fire to the mansion.
• After scoring a brace in the Manchester Derby against crosstown rivals Manchester United, rolled around Manchester in his Bentley convertible, blaring music and high fiving City fans.
• When asked about his post-match joyride, responded by saying  about City’s fans, “Even when I have had bad moments they have supported me.  But I don’t care what people say about me.  I am focused on my football, my manager, girlfriends and my family.”  Yeah, he just said girlfriends.  Mario Balotelli is playing the field and he doesn’t care if you, his manager, or even his multiple girlfriends know

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that all happened in one weekend.  In one weekend, Mario Balotelli has done more crazy stuff than most athletes do in their entire life.  Even Terrell Owens would be shocked at what Balotelli was able to accomplish in just three short days.
 
You might say, ”well, none of that sounds too crazy or awesome,” to which I would reply “hmmm,” because that is how I reply to most things people say to me.  In case you aren’t convinced that Balotelli is the craziest, most awesome thing to happen to sports since Wade Boggs drank 64 beers on a cross country flight, here is some other awesome stuff that Super Mario has done:  Keep reading…